Before the amusing take on the events in the charity sector this week, we’ll start by saying that our thoughts this week have been with those affected by the Manchester attack. Charities, including the British Red Cross, are at the heart of the response and so far well over £2m has been donated to JustGiving pages for the victims.
In this week’s Society Diary: a Hispaniolan tree frog washes up in a Surrey Waitrose, Rob Wilson returns to the campaign trail, and an account of some acronyms.
A visitor from across the pond
First this week, we’re off to Surrey – ah lovely, leafy Surrey. Home of abandoned treacle mines, weird duck races and the second tallest spire in England. Also home to inexplicable four-wheel drive cars that never travel off the A-Road, total poshos, and casual racism. Truly, the jewel of the Home Counties!
The RSPCA were called out to a Waitrose in Haslemere this week when a Hispaniolan common tree frog was spotted by Waitrose staff lurking amongst the bananas on which he had journeyed all the way from his home in the Dominican Republic.
Annie Janes, the animal collection officer who went out to collect the frog from the Haslemere Waitrose dubbed him ‘Freddo’, after everyone’s favourite chocolate frog. Luckily though, nobody ate him.
“It’s not as uncommon as you might think to have a stowaway of this nature,” said Janes. “But little Freddo was lucky to survive such a long distance journey. Also lucky that Freddo was found before he ended up in a customer’s shopping bag as that would be quite a surprise to take home from the supermarket.”
This column can only imagine the scenes. A live frog in the shopping: this is Surrey for heaven’s sake, not the bloody Loire Valley! That’s why I voted to leave Tabitha. Tabitha? Ta… Tabitha!
Anyway Freddo, pictured, has been rehomed safe and sound, which is good because that means Diary can unleash its (sort of) frog joke. You ready? Why did Freddo the Hispaniolan common tree frog have to stowaway on a plane to get to Haslemere?
Because his car had been toad…
Rob Wilson fires up the East Reading Battle Van
Whatever this column does during the week, it always makes sure to keep at least one eye firmly focused on former minister for civil society and MP for East Reading Rob Wilson’s Twitter account.
Since the snap election was called in April, Wilson has been all over the eastern parts of Reading like a rash. And, every step of the way, he’s been accompanied by at least one person with an iPhone and log-in details for his official social media channels.
So far on the campaign trail we’ve seen Rob visiting a local retirement home in what this column can only surmise is a pair of shorts; inadvertently pay homage to one of the 1990s great soft-rock bands while battling inclement weather, and modelled what he called a ‘road safety hoodie’.
Today Rob has returned to the campaign trail, following a break after the events in Manchester and, oh yes, he’s back with a bang. He’s only gone and gotten himself a BATTLE VAN!
I'm talking to residents across Reading East. Obviously I can't knock on every door, but I do want to hear from as many people as possible. pic.twitter.com/bAcEFvq0OB
— Rob Wilson (@RobWilson_RDG) May 25, 2017
This! This is basically perfection. Forgive Diary if it’s wrong, but did Rob Wilson just briefly forget what his first name is? Yes. Did he also just absolutely butcher his email address? Yes, definitely. If you, dear reader, can watch that video once, and then successfully send an email to Rob Wilson, this column will personally send you a biscuit.
Perhaps the best bit about the whole thing though is, after fluffing his lines, Rob gets stuck in this beautifully awkward pregnant pause at the end. That moment where the chap driving the van hasn’t started moving yet, but the camera is still rolling and so your man in a van Rob just sits there, benignly smiling, waiting for the van to pull off and maybe, just maybe, a bead of sweat starts to trickle down his forehead.
Then yes! the van lurches into first and begins to move away and then, inexplicably, (probably fulfilling the Toriest of all Tory dreams), Rob leans his head out the window and gives a little wave, just like the Queen would, except there’s absolutely no way that Liz would ever be caught dead in the passenger seat of a Ford Transit van and, wait, has Diary actually just committed treason? Just now? Is it treasonous to even write about the Queen and a van in the same sentence?
Anyway, check the video and, seriously, keep an eye on Rob Wilson’s social media accounts in the run up to 8 June. You’ll miss him when he’s gone… back to parliament.
An acronym anachronism
Finally, we’re with Sir Stuart Etherington (SSE has he shall henceforth be known) and his keynote speech at the Association of NHS Charities Members’ Forum and Annual Business Meeting (ANHSCMFABM) on Wednesday.
During a wide-ranging speech, Big Stu (sorry, SSE) took delegates through a rip-roaring state of the sector address which included a line about incoming European Union General Data Protection Regulation set to come into force in this country (yes even after Brexit, Nigel. STOP SENDING US EMAILS!) on 25 May 2018.
“Never before,” said SSE, warming to his task (disclaimer: SD was not in attendance at ANHSCMFABM, but it has seen a bullet point list of what SSE spoke about!) “Has an acronym been so much discussed in our sector”.
The acronym in question here being, of course, GDPR. Now SSE might have a point but, seriously, this sector absolutely loves an acronym. SSE himself works for NCVO, which shares an office with ACEVO, who authored a report which called for the FPS, got rid of the FRSB, merged the PFRA into the IoF who’s member organisation’s include heavy hitters like CRUK, RSPCA, BHF, BRC, RNIB, RNLI and, of course, Macmillan…
FML.
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