Our weekly round-up of interesting and outlandish information, collected from the corners of the charity sector.
Buckle up Brexiteers, it’s all kicked off. The people have spoken and they’ve told Brussels to go and get stuffed.
From what Diary’s colleagues have managed to gather so far, the UK’s voluntary sector isn’t exactly overjoyed at the results of yesterday’s EU Referendum. It seems that Project FEAR has given way to actual fear. The only thing lower than the strength of the sterling right now seems to be the spirits of charitable organisations up and down the country.
The sector can at least take some solace in the knowledge that, after many weeks in the wilderness, this column has returned; bearing the heavy burden of trying to put smiles on the dials of the disaffected and the bereft.
No pressure then.
Anyway, without further ado, here's the really important news of today.
Blessed are the poo-makers
BRIAN BLESSED IS VOICING A TALKING LOO FOR WATERAID AT GLASTONBURY!
And breathe. What a story for Diary to come back to. Rarely has this column’s cup runneth so over. Although, if you're talking about a loo, do you really want your cup running over?
Best not to think about it. Let's just move on.
Anyway, it’s true! It’s all true. As part of WaterAid’s Talking Toilets campaign – which is in itself part of its #ToiletsSaveLives petition – the famously bearded thespian Brian Blessed has leant his gilded vocal chords to a lavatory in the middle of a muddy, Somerset field.
What a time to be alive, hey? EU Referendum on the Thursday and a talking, two-way mirrored, Brian Blessed bathroom on the Friday. Almost makes up for the fact that Diary missed out on Nigel Farage’s Brexit flotilla. Not quite, but almost.
Anyway, back to the issue at hand: the Brian Blessed babbling bog. So many questions. The first, Diary supposes, is why?
Well, according to Marcus Missen, director of communications at WaterAid, and this is a direct quote: "Who hasn't wanted to listen to Brian Blessed while sitting on the bog?"
As statements go, this one is objectively true. Blessed after all does have liquid gold where mere mortals have tonsils and rich, imported silk for vocal chords (not to mention a beard to be at once admired and feared).
What’s the point of it all though? Well, the campaign itself – which also features two other talking toilets on the Glastonbury site, voiced by comedian Kathy Burke, and DJ Cerys Matthews. It's not aiming to raise money as such, but in fact awareness.
According to WaterAid, 2.3 billion people globally are currently suffering from a total lack of proper sanitation.
All very laudable. However Diary does wonder slightly at the choice of location. The average Glastobury visitor, if we're honest, is more than typically likely to be in an altered mental state, as well as probably a little sleep-deprived. Is this really the time for their toilet to start talking to them? Is there ever a good time to start a conversation with your toilet?
AGM AFU
Last week, the PFRA’s AGM – which was scheduled to vote on whether or not the face-to-face fundraising membership body would merge with the IoF – instead voted to delay the vote to an Extraordinary General Meeting. This EGM is to be held at some point between now and 31 July.
It may have caused some unhappiness for Peter Lewis, head honcho of the IoF and Peter Hills-Jones, currently grand high poobah of the PFRA, and shortly to be deputy poobah at the combined organisation. They will, in short, be blue Peters.
The reasons given for this was some kind of legalistic, mumbo-jumbo about dotting I’s and crossing T’s.
Diary hopes the whole thing doesn't just peter out.
RUTH!
Behold Matt Hancock MP’s finest tweet to date. It's even better, in this column's humble opinion, than his #VivaVellum series.
Hancock, minister for the Cabinet Office and therefore nominally in charge of policy on charities* tweeted this during the televised EU referendum debate after Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservative Party, had viscerally and publicly word-bashed former London mayor turned circus clown impersonator, Boris Johnson.
As we all know now, her work was all for nought and Hancock’s Twitter feed has been depressingly (if not criminally) silent this morning.
Maybe he’ll realise, with the cold light of hindsight, that he should have Ruth’d less.
Dildo donation
So much to catch up on. The Metro reported in late May (has it been that long?) that someone donated a “silver strap-on” to humanitarian charity Calais – People to People Solidarity – Action to the UK (catchy title).
The charity’s spokesperson was both vaguely amused and also outraged by the donation, and Diary can’t help but agree. What on Earth are the refuges trapped in the appalling conditions of the Calais Jungle going to do with a silver strap-on?
People should really think long and hard about themselves…
Non-canonical
Diary notes that this site today carried a story about canon Andrew White being suspended from the charity he helped found. While obviously it is a serious issue, Diary still cannot help but feel this was a missed opportunity to run with the headline "canon fired".
* Diary is pretty confident that, in common with many other people with nominal political responsibility for charities, Hancock knows bugger all about them.
