Greetings charitable sector and welcome to another week of people saying Happy New Year despite us being two weeks into it now. It’s over, people.
Speaking of letting go of the past, the Natural History Museum has announced Dippy the dinosaur is moving to Coventry for three years.
The replica skeleton of a Diplodocus first arrived in London in 1905, and after 110 years embarked on a tour across the UK. Most recently Dippy came back to London for the Natural History Museum’s temporary exhibit Dippy Returns, which to Diary sounds like the title of an ominous horror film.
Dippy has 292 bones, so spare a thought for the people taking him apart to reassemble in Coventry.
Alpaca’s stampede care home
Diary must admit this headline is hyperbolic and whilst alpacas did visit the Royal Star & Garter care home, they did not run rampant, but were very well-behaved and made many new friends.
Hugo and Finley came to the charity’s care home in Surbiton, south west London, where they were fussed over and petted by residents.
The care home provides compassionate care to veterans and their partners living with dementia. The alpacas, who are 15-month-old boys, toured the care home to visit their new pals.
Resident Amy, who served in the Woman’s Auxiliary Air Force during WWII, said: “I never thought I’d get to my age and feed an alpaca!”
Air Force veteran Bea said after meeting the animals: “Although we didn’t have alpacas, it reminded me of the days when my husband and I were farming.”
Endangered chimpanzee born at Chester Zoo
A critically endangered Western chimpanzee, ZeeZee, has given birth to a tiny baby boy at Chester Zoo (also a chimpanzee).
The charity introduced the baby by calling it a “new little rockstar” which was weird, unless they have plans for it to follow in the steps of the gorilla that played Phil Collins in that Cadbury advert.
In fact, it seems this is a theme for Chester Zoo – they have been naming baby chimpanzees after famous rock and popstars in a bid to help raise awareness for the endangered species for some time. Some names include Dylan (after Bob), Alice (Cooper) and Annie (Lennox).
This columnist hopes the new baby will be named after Harry (Styles) but this may be avoided due to recent revelations from Harry (Windsor) which include details of his frostbitten penis and other details the world could have lived without.
There are just 18,000 Western chimpanzees remaining across Africa. The chimpanzee subspecies is the first to ever be declared critically endangered by the International Union of the Conservation of Nature.
There are now 22 chimpanzees named after musical icons at the zoo, which is enough to create four chimp One Directions and one Simon & Garfunkel.
Disturbing charity shop finds
Lastly, BBC reported various strange charity shop donations from retailers like British Red Cross, as they have received such nefarious items as USED sex toys, which Diary can only hope was a mistake, but as this has happened more than once this seems unlikely.
Other items the charity has received are taxidermy pets, presumably because an owner got bored of their dead pet's lifeless eyes staring at them as if to say "why did you do this to me".
Human beings' ashes have also been donated. While charities are always grateful for legacy income, Diary imagines cash might have been a more usable donation.
Another charity shop received a teapot with mouldy tea still inside it, which is lovely.
However, charity shops still receive more acceptable strange items. For example, one told the BBC it had received Ferrari parts that sold very well whilst another received a saddle for a camel which sold immediately. Keep your eyes peeled for someone riding a camel on a charity shop-bought saddle through Oxford Street.
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