Greetings reader to the end of another week. What are the biggest stories that occurred, you may ask?
Well, Big Ben froze for roughly thirty minutes on Wednesday and didn’t chime, which Diary believes is a sign he’s ready for another bank holiday (aren’t we all?)
Luckily, the famous clock shouldn’t have to worry about finding its replacement. Diary thinks the little girl who offered to replace Big Ben’s bongs in 2016 would be overjoyed to step in during this trying time.
As a wise little girl once said: bing bong, bing bong, bing bong.
I cannot file my accounts because I don’t have internet access [sent by email]
In a deep dive into the past, Diary stumbled upon a 2015 article by the Charity Commission that published a sample of excuses they received from charities who failed to send in their financial accounts.
I cannot file my accounts because “I don’t have internet access [sent by email]” was a personal favourite of this columnist, who has definitely never made the same mistake.
Others seemed to have a direct aversion to computers, with one charity citing “I don’t believe in computers” and another affirming “computers are satanic”.
One charity said thieves broke in and made off with its documents while another filed its incomplete accounts to the regulator with bite marks in it.
This article was published in 2015 by the regulator, so Diary feels the sector is due an update.
Mr Blobby
In other news, charity Refugee Action subjected refugees to watching clips of our (incredibly strange) British culture for the first time this week.
Classics like Mr Blobby, Come Dine with Me, Doctor Who and more were perused for the new Britons viewing pleasure – and probably so they could see what they’ve signed themselves up for.
Trying to explain the concept of Mr Blobby was a particular highlight for Diary.
Comedian Milo Edwards, who hosted the watch-along, said: “I can’t explain Blobby to you. You just need to experience Blobby.”
The refugees looked on in horror as Noel Edmonds was tortured by a giant pink man who repeatedly jumped on a suitcase while shouting his own name.
“What are you packing for?” Edmonds asks. Mr Blobby helpfully replies: “BLOBBY BLOBBY BLOBBY.”
Alisa from Ukraine told the host she struggled to understand Blobby’s pronunciation.
“But, you know, when I first came to the UK, probably I sound like him,” she said.
Money (that’s what I want)
One Fab Four fan failed to show prudence this week by buying a rare copy of the Beatles’ White Album from the British Heart Foundation last week, paying £2,350, which you could say is rather dear.
The 1968 vinyl included a misprint that can only be found in the first 10,000 copies of the record.
It was reportedly in good condition despite being over 50 years old (which is a description Diary could use for many people it knows).
BHF started an eBay listing of the item at £999.99 but multiple collectors’ bids raised it to over £2,000. Needless to say, fundraisers were probably skipping down Penny Lane after the outcome.
But one can only assume the original owner is gently weeping.
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