Forgive Society Diary for being a little distracted this week given today’s big news story. Like all of you, Diary was floored by the news that scientists are now warning that dog leads can cause serious hand injuries.
How on earth is Diary supposed to take its five Bichon Frises for their morning constitutional round the common without a lead? Should they be allowed to wildly roam free then, eh scientists? With a busy main road just behind the hedges?
Typical boffins, always full of problems but short on solutions. Oh, and now the prime minister's resigned. Well, if like Diary you feel in need of some light relief, read on for the week’s charity highlights.
#KuhKussChallenge
Time for some fundraising news from our international correspondent. A new viral craze is sweeping German-speaking Europe, the #KuhKussChallenge. In a similar vein to the legendary #IceBucketChallenge, which raised squillions around the world when people challenged their family, friends and foes to tip a bucket of water over themselves, people are being urged to kiss a cow for charity.
Yes that’s right. Kissing cows for charity. If you don’t believe us there’s a soundtrack (helpfully in English). Unnerving undertones of bestiality aside, it’s a catchy tune. We think it could be moosive…
But it seems the campaign has not been greeted with enthusiasm by the Austrian government, with its agriculture minister dumping a cow pat on the event and warning people that attempting to kiss cows could be a bit dangerous. The minister pointed to a number of incidents of people being killed by cows (Diary is now even less enthusiastic about this challenge).
Marnus Flatz, the chief executive of Castl AG, the app behind the challenge, has responded with an open letter, which translated reads: “According to the Alpine Safety Board, there have been 120,000 alpine accidents and only 54 involving cows in the past 10 years. Although walking is much more dangerous due to heart attacks and crashes, no one would think to ban a walking challenge.”
Those are some good stats, but on balance Diary would still prefer to take part in a walking challenge.
He adds that it’s a bit rich to suggest that kissing cows is abuse when others eat them.
“As long as we send cattle in animal transports across Europe, eat their meat and pull them on the teats every day, no one should explain to me that kisses violate the dignity of a cow.”
Well it’s an argument.
Diary has been keeping a close eye on the coverage this week, and while it doesn’t yet seem that any UK charities have jumped on this bandwagon, it’s probably best if the Fundraising Regulator and the Institute of Fundraising provide the sector with advice and guidance as soon as possible. We’re sure PETA will be only too happy to help.
No spoilers alert
Now reader, Diary hopes you have been impressed this week by Civil Society News’ ability to find a charity angle on some on two of the week’s biggest news stories: Jamie Oliver’s failed restaurants and milkshakes being thrown at right-wing politicians.
However, one story the news team failed to localise was the end of the Game of Thrones television series. According to the social media hive-mind, the least cool thing you can say about Game of Thrones is “I haven’t watched it” because it implies you feel morally superior to all the dimwits, nerds and perverts that tune in each week.
With that in mind, Diary would just like to say that it hasn’t got round to watching it yet.
The Australian Red Cross, however, have watched Game of Thrones. And with, some would say, an unnecessary degree of attention. Across the show’s 73 mostly hour-long (with some extra length) episodes, the charity counted 137 violations of International Humanitarian Law (IHL), and just 42 acts of compliance.
Before the fun police at the Daily Mail get up in arms, the charity was keen to point out that its staff did this research voluntarily and outside of office hours.
One minor quibble, though. As Diary says, it just hasn’t got round to watching the darn show. But it is pretty sure that the Geneva Conventions don’t exist in Westeros, so technically there were no human rights violations. However, if the charity’s research leads to Ed Sheeran being sent to jail and his back catalogue shunned by all national radio stations, Diary is all for it.
Fat Mark’s canny idea
This week Diary’s favourite BBC Breakfast presenter (sorry Naga Munchetty) Steph McGovern was sent a letter by Mark Walker, trustee of Teesside Dementia Link, asking for her support.
While McGovern receives lots of charity requests, she was charmed by Walker’s letter as he had written both a “BBC version” and a “Middlesborough version”, written in Teesside slang.
The Middlesbrough version read: "Hope your ok pet, we need to borra ya for some stuff we would like ya tu elp us with. I am like a volunteer like for a charity like, that looks after old people yu know the ones that cant remember out. Any way like we saw that woman from larn of duty doin a thing about singin like, and weev got no one posh to tell gadgies about us like. So u sometames talk posh so ja fancy given us a and like."
“Fat Mark” explains that the charity is not able to offer McGovern money as it is “brasic like” but does offer her a place to kip at “our Karen’s” and some duty free stuff from Spain as “mad Reg” is going there soon.
McGovern told her Twitter followers: “Obviously I am going to help! Who wouldn’t when there’s an offer of duty free from Reg and a stay at Karen’s house.”
Fat Mark must be delighted with the outcome as it has led to coverage on BBC News, as well as Society Diary of course.
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