Happy Friday dear readers, that is if you can even read this. Great Britain has been firmly in the grip of the ‘Beast from the East’ all week and, frankly, this column is totally over it.
Society Diary woke to snow, ACTUAL SNOW, in south-west London on Tuesday morning and, well, martial law has seemingly reigned in the capital ever since. Supermarket shelves are bare, all the trains have stopped working and the streets, once paved as everyone knows with gold, are now rendered into skating rinks of pure ice. On the plus side however, it’s allowed Diary to free up its weekend plans rather nicely.
This week in charity sector satire: Penny Mordaunt takes a break from lambasting sex-scandal ridden aid charities to push sales of her favourite children’s book and a bunch of penguins in Edinburgh seem to be the only sentient beings in the UK to actually be enjoying the snow.
Fully booked
Yesterday, in case you didn’t realise, was World Book Day. Yes, while most of us were tottering across the Siberian tundra that is our high streets, people in more temperate climes all across the world (including, rather alarmingly, the Arctic circle) were nestling down in comfy leather-backed chairs by roaring fires and cracking open their favourite books.
Obviously many charities in the UK were jumping on the #WorldBookDay to spread the literature love far and wide. Leading the pack were, perhaps unsurprisingly, the BookTrust – you know them, the charity which gives books to children.
However, perhaps more surprisingly, the international development secretary, Penny Mordaunt has also got in on the act. The Department for International Development posted a little clip to its Twitter feed yesterday of Mordaunt discussing the premise of her favourite children’s book. Spoiler alert, Penny’s bang into the Mog books.
Yes, Mog. The, and Diary’s going to use Penny Mordaunt’s own words to describe Mog here because they’re superb, “plump, rather hedonistic and forgetful cat”. Talk about #Mogmentum.
What's @PennyMordaunt's favourite children's book?
— DFID (@DFID_UK) March 1, 2018
Here's a clue:#WorldBookDay #ShareAStory pic.twitter.com/ZWH7M1hEaf
Now, before we plod on, this column’s not read any of the Mog books, but is intrigued as to why this particular cat is any more ‘hedonistic’ than your average moggy or Tom.
In this column’s rather extensive feline experience, all cats are basically little, furry, four-legged Caligulas. All they seem to do is spend the vast majority of their time luxuriating in the warmest spots of the house, only breaking their sleep cycles to go out into the dark of night and murder little woodland creatures and birds, predominantly for their own amusement, or to rut and fight in dimly lit back alleys by the light of a three-quarter moon.
They also enjoy being hand fed by subservient humans and, occasionally, have their tummies rubbed whilst simultaneously stabbing things (usually the rubber) with their claws.
Anyway, Mog clearly taught Penny Mordaunt a lot because, as she herself explains, she now owns four of them. Cats that is presumably, not Mog books. Although, to be fair, that’s not made particularly explicit.
The Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport also got in on the act yesterday, with Michael Ellis, the minister for arts, heritage and tourism saying his favourite book is Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. Ellis says the “tale of a young orphan’s rags to riches story” leaves him with a “warm feeling”.
Did you know? Pupils in England are outperforming peers across the world in reading and literacy, inspired by classic tales and great new stories #WorldBookDay pic.twitter.com/OUF1yyGCcq
— DCMS (@DCMS) March 1, 2018
Quite a Tory choice that. Everyone loves a good rags to riches story, particularly now in an age of Conservative driven austerity where such things will likely never happen again. Still, as Dickens is no doubt still taught at public schools up and down the country, Diary’s sure we can all agree that he is good.
Unfortunately Boris Johnson has yet to take part in #WorldBookDay but, if Diary had to guess, one would think his favourite book would be a collection of Rudyard Kipling poems. Or perhaps his own, seminal work on Winston Churchill.
No business like snow business
As discussed above, this week it’s been ruddy freezing in the UK. Despite knowing full well for weeks that the delightfully named ‘Beast from the East’ would be descending on Britain, its emergence at the beginning of the week still brought the entire Union to its knees. Infrastructure shot, trains delayed or non-existent, gritters missing, supermarkets bare. It goes to show that this country is, as it always has been, woefully unprepared for any real emergencies.
While we humans up and down Britain have been struggling in the sub-zero temperatures, one can at least take a crumb of comfort in the news that a family of Gentoo, northern rockhopper and king penguins at Edinburgh zoo have been absolutely loving the cold snap.
Yes, while the zoo itself has been closed due to the Code Red weather north of the border at the moment, the zoo’s famous penguins have been partying like its 1999. Frolicking in and out of their pool, running around in the fresh, non-artificial snow and generally having a whale of a time.
Fun fact about the Edinburgh zoo: it was the first place in the Northern Hemisphere to successfully breed an Emperor Penguin in 1919. So it’s clearly got a fine pedigree when it comes to penguins.
In other, slightly related, #snowmaggedon news: this guy.
#Hampsteadponds
— speedomick (@speedomick) March 2, 2018
He's worried about me cutting my little finger , not a mention of my s dropping off . #INVERTED
BBBBBEAST FROM THE EAST @joshwiddicombe @TheLastLeg @alex_brooker @LivEchonews @itvnews @BBCNews @SpeedoUK @speedo @londonnewsnow @camdennews247 pic.twitter.com/QgZcEDtWYW
Quality use of the nut emoji, sir!
Related Articles
