Happy Friday dear readers. In a week where, of all the tabloids in all the land, The Mirror cobbled together a poorly researched and half-baked hatchet job on a charity. Yes, it was the Dogs Trust this time, but Diary thinks we can all agree that the charity’s brutal response to the piece almost made the whole thing worth it.
This week in charity sector satire: animal welfare organisation/ongoing in-joke Peta has waded into the gammon debate; *endless screaming* MORE STUFF ABOUT THE ROYAL WEDDING; Mohamed Salah’s golden boots, and the latest instalment of #MacmillanPets.
Gammon I Am
Some of you dear readers might have spent much of this week surprised to find that every time you opened a newspaper, scrolled through your social media or turned on the television you saw journalists writing, posting or talking about gammon.
You may have asked yourself why? Why on Earth are all of these people going on and on and on and on about gammon? Some of you may have even asked, what is gammon?
Gammon is the hind leg of pork after being cured. Simple enough, but why has it been all over the interwebs this week?
Well certain people on the internet, particularly on Twitter, have noticed that the humble joint of gammon, when cooked, rather resembles the puce colouration that certain Leave-voting, middle-aged, Tory white men take on when they get riled up by PC-lefty-snowflake-millennial-Remoaners. Think Aaron Banks, Piers Morgan or, of course, ‘yer da’.
What started as something of a joke at the expense of middle-aged white men on Twitter, has come to dominate the news cycle after certain men took offence at being referred to as ‘gammons’ and, indeed, have tried to argue that its everything from a Corbynista slur to outright racism. *Rolls eyes*
Literally every major newspaper, magazine, radio and TV station had their particular gammon take this week. And so, perhaps inevitably, did Peta.
Do you know what's REALLY offensive about gammon? That it’s made from the flesh of pigs who didn’t want to die. https://t.co/3ahcyUP9EA
— PETA UK (@PETAUK) May 14, 2018
Ah Peta. Sweet, sweet Peta. The folks over at Peta have graced the digital pages of Society Diary many times before; earlier this year two Peta activists got very publicly wrestled to the ground while storming the show ring at Crufts, while in 2017 Peta tried to destroy the livelihood of a photographer by claiming that a monkey should get all the rights to a selfie it took with his camera.
Oh yeah, and the time they wrote to the chief executive of Games Workshop decrying fake wolf pelts being worn by miniature, plastic warrior monks from the year 40,000. Good times.
Say what you will about Peta but they certainly know how to appropriate a moment to make their point. They certainly keep their fingers on the pulse and are never afraid to be controversial in order to further their agenda.
Also, given the complete earnestness of this particular gammon take. Given how utterly devoid of humour it is, maybe, just MAYBE, it might kill the whole gammon debate off. Because, really, who has the time to be arguing about whether or not it’s possibly racist to call the least discriminated against sub-section of humanity ‘gammon’, when we have a royal wedding to look forward to tomorrow?
Speaking of which…
Barnar-I-do’s
Barnar-I-do’s (‘I do’, get it? It’s a vows joke. This kind of hot content doesn’t just write itself) has become just the latest charity to try and exploit the hubbub around the impending nuptials of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
Yes, an email appeared in the Society Diarist’s heaving inbox earlier this week, with the subject line: “‘Prince Harry’ and ‘Meghan Markle’ stun tourists with surprise budget Barnardo’s wedding celebration in Windsor”.
Colour Diary intrigued. Why the inverted commas? As everyone knows, both Harry and Meghan are big supporters of a number of charities. Could it be possible that they actually spent “time in Windsor wearing Barnardo’s wedding attire – created from pre-loved items donated to Barnardo’s stores”? Also, does Harry drink at Wetherspoons?
Tourists stunned by surprise budget Barnardo’s Royal wedding attire https://t.co/kMZK8XFe6m pic.twitter.com/g0nOSYfNj5
— London Post (@LondonPostUK) May 17, 2018
The answer to all of these questions is, sadly, no. Diary had been royally duped. The ugly nut of it was that, having been conned into opening these pictures, the Diarist was confronted with a pair of not particularly good look-a-likes. Sigh, is there nothing pure and true left in this sick, cruel world?
Anyway, the ‘royal couple’ photo stunt was shot to make the point that we, the taxpayers, could have been saved quite a hefty bill if the royals had actually got their wedding accoutrement at the local Windsor charity shop.
Diary can’t wait for Sunday, and for it all to be over.
Mo' museum, mo problems
To the British Museum now and the news that a pair of boots worn this season by Liverpool and Egypt forward, and Premier League top scorer, Mohamed Salah have been donated to the museum.
Yes, according to Sky News “the boots will be placed in the Egyptian section, next to pharaohs, as Salah prepares to lead his national team” at the World Cup.
The Society Diarist tries to be agnostic about everything in life. But, it is almost impossible to remain agnostic about big Mo. Beautiful Mo. Salah la la la la la. The Egyptian King.
Neal Spencer, the museum’s keeper of ancient Egypt and Sudan, said the boots would “bring the British Museum’s world-famous Egyptian collection right up to date. The boots tell a story of a modern Egyptian icon, performing in the UK, with a truly global impact”.
Ra, Anubis, Thoth, eat your hearts out. There’s a new golden god in the Egyptian pantheon.
#MacmillanPets
Finally, some #dogcontent for everyone. Meet this week’s #MacmillanPet Amy, a four year old rescue dog with a Macmillan lanyard on.
She enjoys running around and lying in the sun and, Diary for one, is a huge fan.
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