Society Diary would like to start its first column of 2022 by admitting that to call eight months into the year fashionably late may be a bit of an understatement. To call it unfashionably tardy would be rude, but admittedly more accurate.
Rest assured, Diary has a list of very reasonable excuses for the delay in filing copy, including sampling copious amounts of charity alcohol as part of its retraining as a beverage connoisseur.
The Royal British Legion’s Pull the Pin rum was explosively spiced and Diary detected a hint of upset supporters with many questioning why RBL would sell alcohol in the shape of a grenade. People found a charity for war veterans commodifying a weapon problematic, for some reason. Go figure.
Meanwhile, the Official Captain Tom’s gin was as dry as its reception, with it being pulled from sale a few months ago after breaking charity law.
Various other things have happened, but I won’t bore you with the details. Mistakes were made, largely by me, but going forward Diary will be different. Sounds like a Tory leadership campaign, doesn’t it?
While Diary shifts to hybrid working to accommodate these side hustles, uploading on the goings-on of charity land will be more sporadic, but no less thrilling. Shall we?
Pork Pie gate
Are you, too, incapable of controlling your anger at the name of Leicester’s Pork Pie Roundabout? If yes, you’re not the only one. This week, animal charity PETA called on officials to rename it to promote veganism and reduce the city’s obesity rates.
PETA's senior campaigns manager, Kate Werner, told Sky News that a name change would inspire people to eat more vegan foods and honour the city's heritage, with it being where the word vegan originated from.
This columnist asks what PETA would propose to call it instead. Should one call it a Vegan Pork Pie roundabout? Or does that defeat the point? Vegan Pie roundabout is distinctly lacking on alliteration. Rabbit roundabout has nice alliteration, but then PETA would have to explain that the roundabout is named such in support of rabbits, and explain that drivers should refrain from eating them. Vegan roundabout is rather plain...But now we're going in circles. (Sorry).
During Diary's hiatus, it had the pleasure of visiting pork pie Graceland, Melton Mowbray. In terms of a name change impacting obesity rates in Leicestershire, this columnist feels the only way you'd stop the locals from eating pork pies is by forcibly taking them out of their hands. People eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Break on the telly? Pork pie. Feeling sad? Pork pie. Feeling happy? Pork pie. Etcetera etcetera. (This characterisation may be based entirely on Diary's own eating habits while visiting).
Diary fears PETA would be terrified to discover what else is named after the delicious pastry snack there. The Pork Pie shop and the Pork Pie bench as well – the work never ends!
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