Happy Friday one and all. Congratulations on reaching the end of another week on planet earth, where the sun has yet to consume us all!
This fun fact seems to have given prime minister Rishi Sunak the confidence to push back some of the UK’s climate targets.
With a target of net-zero still set for 2050 but a watering-down of the UK’s policies, Sunak has apparently rescued us from the fate of having seven bins, a tax on meat, and mandatory car shares.
“You boy, which of the seven bins is it this week?” One X user posted alongside an image of Scrooge.
Another created an image of the long-lost seven bins floating to heaven to meet Harambe (RIP).
Meanwhile, Liz Truss made a comeback this week. In her speech, she says she tried to “rear, fatten and slaughter the pig” all in one go, which Diary thinks is a very polite way of saying she crashed the British economy and caused general mayhem.
This columnist admires the former PM’s refusal to take responsibility. It is reminiscent of when colleagues ask Diary where all of the custard creams have gone (no idea).
Bug buffet
A Zoological Society of London (ZSL) event which served cricket canapes and bug bites has raised over £522,000 for the charity this week.
Rolling out the green carpet, the charity put on a glitzy event and celebrities like Geri Halliwell-Horner and David Walliams were in attendance.
Diary is uncomfortable at the thought of worms in their canapes, but with the current climate crisis, ZSL says these sustainable snacks are the sort of changes needed to avert animal extinction. Could they make custard creams out of crickets?
Guests bid on experiences such as the chance to stay at the Four Seasons in the Serengeti and join a ZSL scientist in the field. The opportunity to name the zoo’s next Western lowland gorilla baby raised a staggering £40,000 – so whoever spent that should have an impressive name to fit it. For example, Gary or Gerald.
The opportunity to name one of the zoo’s red panda cubs raised £8,000 in comparison, which seems a little less impressive now.
Animal antics
Civil Society Towers also had some animal antics this week. At first, colleagues thought the ceiling was going to come in as three giant pigeons seemed to be storming about on it.
It soon became clear that a family of foxes was playing above our heads. This was not at all distracting and Diary did not get a bad neck from staring up at them.
One unnamed staff member threatened to call pest control which was met with outrage and the commitment to sacrifice them instead of the said foxes.
Bear parade
In even more animal news, 35 huge bear sculptures descended on shoppers in Leeds this week.
Hundreds of volunteers, fundraisers, sponsors and children from Leeds Children's Hospital took part in the parade to raise funds for the hospital charity.
Each colourful bear sculpture told the story of an ill child that had benefited from treatment at the hospital. The fundraiser was inspired by Michael Rosen's story 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' (absolute classic).
A sad farewell to the bear parade comes this weekend, where they will bruddle (bear cuddle?) together for a final time before they are auctioned off. Tickets to the event range from £3-£5.
15-year-old Rosie Gill is undergoing a liver transplant this October and makes frequent visits to Leeds hospital. She walked in the parade with her family and allocated bear Bloom.
Claire Gill, Rosie's mum, said: “Rosie is very proud and attached to her bear. Every time we make a trip to Leeds, we go and visit it. We’re hoping Rosie’s bear, Bloom, raises lots of money for the Leeds Hospitals Charity to fund the Leeds Children’s Hospital, to help benefit other children like Rosie.”
Here's hoping Bloom goes to a great home.
