A festive Friday to you, dear readers! Diary is pleased by the arrival of 1 December, the day where it becomes legally and socially acceptable to proudly do the things one has been doing in secret for some time.
For Diary these include, but are not limited to, writing out Christmas songs instead of serious notes at work, drinking soon-to-be-mulled wine and eating copious amounts of cheese.
As the charity sector gets ready for the era of tinsel and spontaneous do-goodery from beneficiaries you haven’t seen for the other 11 months of the year (I’ve heard churches have a similar issue), its time to look at what festive antics are on the horizon for us.
Carol concert for canines
Battersea Dogs & Cats home will be bringing its canines to a carol concert at St Luke’s Church in Chelsea this month.
Human visitors are also permitted, but only special Battersea dogs are allowed (VIPs, or very important pooches, if you will).
One can only assume that when the humans raise their voices the dogs join them with an awoo or bark in tune with the music.
The concerts will enjoy readings from the charity’s ambassador and Bake-Off legend Sue Perkins, as well as other famous humans that the dogs will not recognise.
Boozed-up reindeer
In more animal-based news, Greene King has partnered with Macmillan Cancer Support to donate 5p from every sale of its Rocking Rudolph beer to the charity.
The seasonal ale deer-livers the full-bodied flavours of fruit and toffee-malt, according to Greene King.
The ale has 110 reviews on its website, the majority of which are 5-star.
Two are 2-star reviews, with one complaining that the drink was too “wet” and the other saying it was of a “low gravity” for his taste.
Both commenters seem unfamiliar with the concept of physics, so Diary will ignore them and return to the bar.
Many charities will also be fundraising throughout the month via a Reindeer Run. This columnist was disappointed to hear no real reindeers will be present, only humans idiotically dressed as them in the name of charity.
Merry Christmaths
Its time for everyone's favourite festive game – mathematics!
That's right, Nerdle has partnered with Save the Children and Plan International for its add-vent calendar challenge.
The numbers game has 25 festive words of the day that provide a clue to a calculation behind each door. They are free games to play but all profits from advertising will go to the two charities.
Diary finds it difficult to get excited by the idea of voluntarily doing anything hard like maths, and finds the pun ‘Merry Christmaths’ personally offensive.
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